Josiah's Journey

I've always known a strict schedule is imperative for helping Josiah feel calm and secure. He had one when he was at the residential treatment center. They saw far fewer challenging behaviors from him there than we did with him at home. I firmly believe it's because Josiah always knew what his day would be like while living there. He always knew what was coming next. There were no surprises. No curveballs. No reason to feel unsettled. The routine was always the same.

I like structure. I like routine. I like knowing what's next. Its just that I get bored easily. I like adventure. I like change. I like to be spontaneous and impulsive.

I love creating schedules. On paper. I've created quite a few routines over the years. I've printed out daily plans, weekly plans, summer plans even. I posted them around the house. The trouble was, I didn't follow them. At one point when we were homeschooling, I created a master schedule for the entire family. My detailed schedule accounted for every second of everyone's day from the time they woke up until the time they went to bed. It made me crazy. It was nearly impossible to stick to it. It lasted less than a week.

A short while ago I was reminded that Josiah really needs a routine once he gets home from school. He has structure while there. He has a daily routine he follows in his classroom. I'm sure it works great for him. So, I tried this time to create a loose schedule for Josiah for his afternoons. As soon as he gets home from school he puts his backpack in the closet. He enjoys an after school snack, takes a bathroom break and then walks the dog. He swings on his swing in the back yard. That's it. Simple right?

It would be. If Josiah were capable of following his routine all alone. He's not. It requires me to follow the same routine Josiah does. Therein lies the problem. I don't always want to walk the dog. Swinging Josiah is fun. But some days it is hot. I am tired. I want to stay inside. I want to be in the air conditioned house. I want to sit and relax. The bottom line is I don't like to follow a schedule.

I like 'To Do' lists. I like planning the night before the things I want to accomplish the next day. It doesn't mean I'll always do them. But creating the list is enjoyable.

Maybe if I had been in the military it would be different. Maybe I'd have more self discipline. Maybe if it had been ingrained in me at boot camp, I'd live as structured in real life as I do on paper. I don't know. Maybe that is why Josiah is in my life. Maybe he will help me become more structured.

I am trying. I have tried to teach Josiah all the steps in his after school routine. Not always, but sometimes. Now we just need to get the after dinner and before bed routine in place. I think it will help Josiah to sleep better at night. I know it will.

I had to drive Breanne back to college yesterday. I was on the road for 8 hours. I wasn't home when Josiah got off the bus. Rick was. I called home shortly after Josiah got home. Josiah's teacher had texted me that Josiah had a fever towards the end of his school day. I wanted to be sure he was doing alright.

Rick seemed surprised that Josiah was reportedly sick. He wasn't acting sick. He told me Josiah walked right off the bus, pulled his back pack up the side walk and immediately put it in the front room closet and closed the door. Josiah did the very first step of his routine completely independently. Rick just watched.

I was stunned. It didn't take him long at all to master this first step in his schedule. I am motivated now.

Maybe today when he gets home I will add something different. Oh right. That would defeat the purpose. It would make it much more interesting for me. But not for Josiah. Better to keep him doing the same things at the same time. Every day.

Josiah learns quickly. I, on the other hand may need just a little more time.