Josiah's Journey

When I was younger, I used to think it would be so amazing if we didn't need sleep.  I used to think about all the things I could do with that time.  Sleeping seemed like such a waste.  Why not do something productive, something useful instead of resting for so many hours every single day.

I think God was preparing me, even at that young age.  He knew Josiah would be in my life.  He knew Josiah would be extremely active. He knew Josiah wouldn't require much sleep.  He knew Josiah would be awake many hours at night.  He knew Josiah would be awake many hours, most every night.  He made him that way.  If Josiah were older and capable, he would be the perfect mid-night shift worker.

Unfortunately, even though I used to think it would be great to not require any sleep, God didn't make ME that way.  I like to sleep  Actually, I love to sleep.  I think about sleeping alot.  I look forward to Sundays.   Sunday is the day of rest.  Imagine.  A whole day devoted to rest.   Great concept.  Doesn't always happen though.  Not in this house.

Last night Josiah awoke sometime in the wee hours of the morning.  I vaguely remember him crawling over me in bed.  I've heard stories recently of children with disabilities who wake in the night and actually leave the house.  The parents sleep, completely unaware their child has left and is wandering around alone, outside in the dark.  I shudder to think we may be there someday.  For now, I'm so grateful that Josiah always comes straight to our room when he wakes up.

I have some recollection of Josiah sliding his arm under my neck and snuggling up next to me.  I'm sure he grabbed my arm and wrapped it around his tiny body.  He always does.  I smiled to myself.  I figured he was all comfy and would sweetly drift back to sleep.  Sometimes it works like that.  Not last night.  Last night was party time.  Josiah was wide awake.  I guess he wanted me to join in on the fun.  He did his best to wake me and keep me awake.  I remember his fingernails digging in my neck a few different times.  I remember my hair being pulled, I remember feet being kicked at my face.  Mostly I remember the noises.  Josiah makes this high pitched sound that can only be described as someone sucking in air.  There were some other nasal type snorts and some clucking things he did with his tongue.  The noises continued seemingly for hours.

I faded in an out of consciousness, usually alert only when there was a foot in my face or when a vocalization reached a decible that demanded attention.  I purposefully did not check the clock.  Checking the clock is never good.  O.K.  Eventually I checked the clock.  At 4:20 I had had enough.  I'll never know for sure, but I swear Josiah had been playing in our bed for at least 2 hours by this point.  I woke up Rick.  Changing of the guards.  Gosh how I love being able to do that.  What a blessing.  It definitely takes 2 of us to manage,  having Josiah in our lives.

Rick took Josiah out of the room.  I think he probably gave him a drink of water.  I know he turned on the T.V.  He held him for another hour before Josiah fell asleep.  I wrapped the blankets up around my shoulders, buried my head in the pillow, so excited to finally get some rest.  It was not to be.  Just as the last of Josiah's snorts was heard, the dog in the house behind us began to bark.  He barked for a full hour and a half.   Utterly exhausted,  I tossed and turned in my bed, fully, completely, wide awake. 

Tonight, I'm getting some earplugs.