Josiah's Journey

I had missed 4 phone calls and 3 text messages, all in a very short window of time.

Josiah's teacher was trying to reach me.  So was my husband.

The voice message said, "We are having a few problems with Josiah today." 

I barely heard that.  

Instead I heard the frantic screams of my now teenage son, echoing in the background through the phone.

In moments like that, my world stops.

Almost immediately my eyes welled up with tears. 

My first call was to my husband, who was at work.

He had already been made aware of the situation and was asked to pick Josiah up from school. 

By the time he arrived, there were 10 adults in the classroom with Josiah.  

Josiah had been uncooperative for part of the day, was scratching, pulling hair, turning over desks and tables and throwing chairs in the classroom.

And, screaming.

Not typical behavior for a 7th grader.  Not typical behavior for Josiah either.  

For the most part, his Intermediate School experience this past year and a half has been rather uneventful in terms of inappropriate behavior.  

Not so much lately.

He seems to cycle between weeks of peaceful co-existence with the others in his life to a few days or a week of total chaos, every few months.  

During the out of control days, we struggle to understand it all.  We question everything.  We closely examine any and all potential 'triggers'.

Maybe he's tired.  (HA)  This is the boy who for years never needed much sleep.

Could he be sick?  Maybe he has a headache?  Sore throat?  Stomach ache?  Constipated?  Hungry?  Thirsty?  Needing to jump?  Needing deep pressure?  Needing time alone? Was there a Koosh ball anywhere near him?  (he used to be terrified of Koosh balls)  

And on it goes until ultimately Josiah comes out of whatever state he was in that was rocking everyone's world and settles down again.

Truly, it's like flipping a light switch.  One minute he's calm and cooperative.  The next he's wreaking havoc on his teachers and classmates.  And us. A few days later, he calms down again. 

Thankfully, the rough days aren't as common as the good days.

Many times we see our sweet Josiah shining through, smiling and happy and we know 'he's back'.  We know we can coast easy for a bit.

The challenge is in trying to figure it all out to hopefully prevent another storm.  

If only he could tell us.

If only he could explain what it is that ticks him off so much.  

If only he had words to express his frustration.

Life can't be easy when you have no words.

Heck, life isn't always easy when you do have words.  

But that's not the point.

This is.  Josiah can't tell us what's wrong.  

But we know the ONE who created him.  We know the ONE who knit him together in my womb.  We know the ONE who has a great plan and purpose for Josiah's life.  And that's how we get through it.

We pray.  

We pray over him before bed.  We pray for him at breakfast.  We pray before the bus pulls up.  We pray for him while he's at school.  We pray for his teachers and aides and bus drivers.  We pray for his caregivers.

We pray for wisdom.

And then we let it all go.  We have NO idea what God was thinking when he placed Josiah in our lives.  We're just very grateful he did.

He taught us to pray.