Leaving Him Behind
Recently, I was away from home for 8 days.
Only Chandler was with me. Josiah was not.
Though he was in great hands with his dad, I was concerned about leaving him.
I really wanted to take Josiah with us. (I think it's a mom thing, feeling like he needs me to be with him all the time.)
I considered various ways to make that happen.
One involved leaving in the wee hours of the morning and driving 21 hours, each way.
As the only driver I wasn't sure I was up for that much adventure.
Attempting to navigate through an airport with Josiah didn't sound any easier.
In the end, it just made more sense to hop on a plane and leave Josiah at home.
So, on a Sunday afternoon, Chandler and I waved good-bye as Rick and Josiah dropped us off at the terminal.
I had done my best to prepare Josiah for my absence.
I had explained to him where we were going. I left a card for his dad to read to him at night. I told him exactly when we would be back.
How could I be sure he understood though?
Without a voice, Josiah had no way to share his feelings.
He couldn't say, 'Don't leave Mom' or 'I want to go too'. He couldn't call while I was gone to tell me how he was doing. He couldn't even say Good-bye when I was leaving.
The week flew by and before I knew it, Chandler and I were headed back home.
I knew Josiah would be thrilled to see us. I thought he would grab my neck and pull me into a bear hug. I wondered if he might even pull my hair.
I thought for sure my little buddy would follow me all around and be constantly at my side.
I was wrong.
When I got home and greeted Josiah, he expressed no outward signs of joy or excitement.
He simply glanced briefly in my direction and gave the slightest hint of a smile.
Then he turned his attention back to the 'string toy' he had been playing with.
I must admit I was a little disappointed.
Didn't he miss me? Didn't he need me? Wasn't he happy to have me back home?
And then it hit me.
Josiah does fine without me. He was able to get through the week with no major issues. He and his dad did great flying solo, together.
Southwest Airlines is running a special for February.
I wonder if they fly to Bora Bora.
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