It Will Never Happen to Us
I remember hearing about children with a dual diagnosis of Down Syndrome and Autism a few years back.
Shortly after Josiah was diagnosed, I joined a List Serv to get a glimpse of what life would be like for us down the road.
It was comprised of a group of parents that had children with DS-ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder).
Most of what they shared was daunting.
Josiah was 4 at the time.
I read horrifying stories of very destructive children, trashing houses and destroying furniture.
I read of aggressive children, hurting themselves and those around them.
Most of these kids were 6 and 7 years old.
I remember thinking, this will never happen to us. Josiah is such a sweet boy.
He's very lovable and engaging. He loves to snuggle. He loves to crawl in your lap and give hugs.
I thought, these poor families just don't know how to handle their children.
And then, Josiah got older.
He started trashing our house.
It started small. A couple of plates and bowls hurled to the ground, shattered to pieces.
A metal Kitchen trash can, dented from repeatedly being thrown.
Table lamps and knick knacks crashed and broken because Josiah thought it was fun to knock them into things, like ceramic tile floors.
And then he entered the declutter stage, the time in his life when Josiah figured out that just by sweeping his arm across any flat surface he could clear it quite quickly.
He discovered our fireplace had a mantle. Though he was too small to reach it, he learned to throw things up at the beautiful items displayed there, much like a bean bag tossing game. He was good at it too.
Josiah taught us, rather quickly, less is more.
We took away coffee tables and end tables. We removed lamps from the living room. Our fireplace mantle was bare.
We started living a minimalist lifestyle and removed most everything from any flat surface.
I shared none of this on the List Serv because then I would be one of those parents who just didn't know how to handle their child.
Actually, I hadn't been on the List Serv for quite a long time. I decided very shortly after joining, it was far better to learn as we go with Josiah as opposed to hearing from others what lies ahead.
Going through life with blinders on seemed best.
Eventually Josiah developed a passion for our wooden Kitchen chairs and destroyed all 8 of them, many times over.
Wood cracks and splinters easily when thrown to the ground.
It's only been recently that we've been able to put things out around the house again. Josiah is now 12.
For 8 years we lived with the bare basics, not quite the 'model home' decor I'd love to create for our family.
To be honest, I didn't have time to care for any of it anyway, chasing after Josiah, most often greatly sleep deprived.
So, for our family it worked. We learned to live with the bare minimums. And we've been happy.
Life is not about the abundance of stuff.
However, furniture in the family room isn't overly indulgent is it?
Yesterday, Josiah, for no reason I can fathom, tore a piece of fabric off our bonded leather recliner. I guess it's not that big of a deal since part of the couch has been peeling for months.
This morning, I woke to chunks of stuffing ripped from the back of a couch cushion.
This is what I would post on a List Serv should they still exist and should I be a member.
Children with dual diagnosis of DS-ASD can be destructive. Consider yourself warned. This is what happened at our house:
Guess it's a good thing I'm not sharing that message with the world. It's probably best for families to learn as they go as we prefer to do with Josiah.
The next major holiday when furniture sales are in full swing we are running out to buy some new stuff. This should do the trick.
Concrete furniture.
My guess is it will be a few years before Josiah has the strength to destroy this.
About the Author
0 comments